Thread: The 57th Parallel: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

So I was going to try my best to enjoy this game, but then I took an arrow to the knee. That bad joke aside, Bethesda felt like there needed to be more to their game of mostly distracting side quests with more distracting side quests! Certainly shows how far a Skyrim apple falls from its Oblivion tree. Well finally with my copy of Skyrim, I get to review something else someone will scream at me for because I don’t like it. Yea even though they have spent years and billions on this game, I feel as though it was a bit rushed. I wouldn’t have guessed was it not for the ability to horde health potions making you Jesus and put buckets on people’s heads being able to steal everything unnoticed.

So at the start of it, like all others, you start out locked up for some unspecified reason. If the government has such a punishment for adventurers, didn’t they ever think that they would be around other adventurers and they would adventure more as soon as they adventure their way through the guard’s torso and out the front door. As soon as you were about to get executed, the town was attacked by Godzilla’s gay nephew who just got out of the closet and got angry because I started to make fun of him. Now you have the choice of fleeing the town with the friendly rebels or the dicks who just tried to kill you. I pray you guys know which one I chose.

Well I went out of my way to finally meet again, face to face, with the rebel leader but when I saw him he didn’t even give me the time of day. Wow someone who is worse than me doing my time of the month. Well fine I don’t have to clean out your drain because I can go fight Godzilla’s gay nephew and his gang of friends who are mutually in a fun relationship but secretly spoon themselves at night. I mean he sees me as nothing and I go in there and kill bosses like they are nothing because I have a sword casted the depths of a dwarf star and I can shoot radioactive lasers!

I did find myself immersed in the lands of Skyrim, more than Oblivion because I was trying to do the main quests and then I found a job opening for the Future Adventurer’s Headquarters of awesome and I completely forgot what I was supposed to be doing. I don’t know if I get distracted easily or the game actually knows how to get someone interested in things they don’t have to do more than the things they are supposed to do but I am still debating if that is a good or bad thing. At least Bethesda has the decency to give you something fun. You all agree with me on this. If this game was linear, no one would buy it.

See because of the expansive stories and different styles of storyline sequencing, you really can’t have the same game twice so you can find a good friend to discuss about it for hours but then it just turns into a glitch swapping party. My favorite was a person that was moonwalking. He was literally running in one direction and moving in the opposite direction. Well it is a good thing that I am in the mood to overlook the flaws in Skyrim because there are a lot of flaws in Skyrim. I guess I am glad that I have a game to play that doesn’t treat me like I am a little kid stuck in a pipe. I will applaud it with both hands clapping as hard as I can until my first born child has masturbation regrets. No I have no idea where I am going on with this. Go away.

I agree about the flaws. There are so many glitches and bugs. Still it is by far the most expansive and insteresting game I've played this year, and the fans share my opinion.

Ahh damnit, an arrow to the knee. I feel bad for you son... ok, that joke is way too prominent on the internet ATM. I just got Skyrim and have played about 30 minutes of it. So far, I like it. The gay Godzilla comment made me LOL in real life. The guy at gamestop told me "I don't have time for this game. There is over 200 hours of gameplay".

Are you still playing it?

Originally Posted by Jordan

Ahh damnit, an arrow to the knee. I feel bad for you son... ok, that joke is way too prominent on the internet ATM. I just got Skyrim and have played about 30 minutes of it. So far, I like it. The gay Godzilla comment made me LOL in real life. The guy at gamestop told me "I don't have time for this game. There is over 200 hours of gameplay".

Are you still playing it?

Well the "Arrow to the knee" joke is going to be milked for a few more weeks and then die, might as well use it while it's still cool to say.

A shot in the dark with the "Godzilla's Gay cousin" comment to do that. I actually flipped a coin to see if I was going to say that or not.

Actually no I did all I felt I needed to do and that's why I waited this long to do it because granted there is a LOT of this game to work with and I have shorten it down to a between 500 and 1000 word 5 paragraph format like I always do. That was the hardest part of this whole review but I think it's ambiguity and talking about how I got distracted from the actual quests themselves gave me that shortened tug I needed.

I don't know how long I'll play it. I've bought every elder scroll game there was and never finished one.

Originally Posted by Jordan

I don't know how long I'll play it. I've bought every elder scroll game there was and never finished one.

Play until you feel like you are finished because that's usually where you did finish. Now granted some try to continue to the top and they are the creepy ones you want to poke with a stick but it's not worth it.

And then some take an arrow to the knee.

LOL!
I play ES3: Morrowind 'till I literally explored everything that could be explored, and I still have the screenshot of a fully explored map somewhere in the computer. But that was when I was younger and more "virutally agile". I doubt I can achieve the same with Skyrim, cause I stopped with Oblivion halfway trough. When I took an arrow to the knee. ()

Originally Posted by shaidar_haran

LOL!
I play ES3: Morrowind 'till I literally explored everything that could be explored, and I still have the screenshot of a fully explored map somewhere in the computer. But that was when I was younger and more "virutally agile". I doubt I can achieve the same with Skyrim, cause I stopped with Oblivion halfway trough. When I took an arrow to the knee. ()

Yeah Morrowwind was the shit

I have yet to play this game. My nephew actually got it for Christmas this year and he was super excited. Maybe it is time to play with him. Or borrow it anyway if I can wriggle it out of his hands

I do think it is cool that there is so much expansive stories and different styles of storyline sequencing. That is a neat feature in itself. I feel that since it is like this then each person can have his or her own gaming experience.

I am curious to see what you would rate this game? On a scale of one to ten, what are the marks that you give it?